Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
