You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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