Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
