sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
