Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How external is "for external use only"?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
