if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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