Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
