I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
