I'm jealous of your bromance
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
