You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize