guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
