His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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