we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
