anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
