i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
