so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.