sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?