I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER