ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
