I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize