You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
