Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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