is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
