Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize