is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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