Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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