Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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