im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
