We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
