i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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