NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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