I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
