Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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