We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
