im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
