I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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