its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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