im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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