i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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