I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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