Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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