I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
