due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
