I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
