so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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