I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
