cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
