ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
