so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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