D3 body, D1 cock
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
