you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
