It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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