No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
