Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
