I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
