I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The air was thick with penises
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize