Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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