the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
