Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize