How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
how does that bad decision feel?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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