so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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